Thanksgiving Day. November 28, 2024.

 It's a day to be thankful.

Today, I'm thinking about, and thankful for, my long ago Royal Victoria College (women's residence at McGill University) and McGill Newman Centre friend, Tina Eberle (later Tina Gerard). When I knew her in Montreal, I didn't realize the importance of the Thanksgiving holiday to American families.

In the 60s and 70s, many American students and young adults didn't go home for Thanksgiving, either because they couldn't afford to travel, or because entry level jobs and/or lack of seniority didn't give them the time. No problem for Tina! She invited fellow Americans and some others to a Thanksgiving meal that rivaled any feast I've enjoyed since those long ago November Thursdays.

I was shocked a number of years ago when I learned that the ever smiling, vibrant Tina had died. I think about her every Thanksgiving and know that her large, much loved family must remember her hospitality with great love and nostalgia. RIP Tina, until we meet again. Happy Thanksgiving to all! Embrace the ones you love.

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24You, Marilyn Marshall, Viky Larson Turner and 21 others

Nashville , Tennessee. October 20-24, 2024.

My sister, Marilyn, and I arrived in Nashville last Sunday. I left MSP on a beautiful fall day that felt more like mid-July than late October. I had packed for summer weather in Nashville, and sure enough the early evening temperature was warm and very pleasant.

My flight arrived earlier than Marilyn's, so I spent a pleasant couple of hours at Nashville BNA, walking around a little, only a little limited by my carry-on bag and backpack. The airport was very crowded, and it wasn't easy finding the rideshare pickup point. However, our driver Joseph was persistentand he finally hooked up with us. A native of Ethiopia, he came to Nashville years ago because he had a friend here -- a story I heard several times from other transplants to this lovely city.

We were a little shell-shocked when we checked in, but not to tired to head to the 4th floor for our free cocktails. John the bartender gave us doubles, even though we hadn't yet received our drink cards from the front desk. This is a well-known weakness in the online check-in system at Embassy Suites Downtown -- paper cards still required. Like most bartenders, John is an independent type of guy and he simply told us to pick up our  cards the next day, which we did, of course.

The next morning Harry joined us at the hotel and we decided to do an overview tour of the city in the Hop-on-Hop-off trolley. We did a full loop first and Harry pointed out a number of points of interest along the way, so that we got our bearings. We refueled with beer and gumbo at Gumbo Bros and walked up the hill, over the freeway, to Harry's apartment. By then it was getting damn hot, well over 80F, and Harry's promised "short distance" seemed endless. Fortunately, I still had the energy to take a few photos of interesting sculptures along the way. When we got to Harry's place, I looked over the balcony and saw a beautiful, inviting pool. No suit, of course, so we had to pass up the opportunity. Harry drove us back to the hotel, and we opted for snacks and beverages on the 12th floor.

Tuesday was a day for the Country Music Hall of Fame, just down the street from our hotel and it seemed like a good choice. The building itself is quite lovely, with lots of space for exhibits and education. I wasn't pleasantly surprised to note that the museum is so well curated, such that the visit includes not only country music but, really, a history of American contributions to the world body of music. All eras are covered, with the transitions from each era carefully designed and executed. A well produced video brings the entire experience together.

Harry picked us up before 6 PM for the drive to the Grand Ole Opry It was rush hour, and the traffic was awful, as it often seeems to be -- as bad in this city as in any other major metropolitan area. Until then, I had seen only downtown and the famous neighborhoods on the trolley tour. I appreciated Harry's excellent driving skills along a creative shortcut past a cemetery, used car lots, a trailer park, railroad tracks, distressed housing and other structures in various states of disrepair. Fortunately, work earlier in the day on his Tesla held up well and I felt confident we would not break down in the remote space that reminded me of the hubcap theft in the original Vacation movie

We arrived in NASCAR race time and had a pleasant interlude in the lovely grounds of the Opry. The e-tickets allowed quick entry and we were amazed at the sightlines from our front-row seats. The performances (Rhonda Vincent, Karley Scott Collins, Wade Bowen, Don Schlitz, Bill Anderson, Drew Holcomb and the Neighbors, Vince Gill) were nothing short of spectacular. My favorites were Don Schlitz, whose many compositions inclue The Gambler and Vince Gill. as charming in person as his fans say he is. He was introduced to the audience by Drew Holcomb, and as the band was playing the first song Vince bent over troubleshoot his mute guitar and/or microphone. He treated the problem very casually and it was soon resolved as he worked with the sound tech. No fuss; no blame.

The next day Marilyn and I separated and I walked to the Tennessee State Capitol. It was a pleasant walk made easier as I could see the flags on the Capitol at several points along the way. While I was expecting Google Maps' promise of a mostly flat walk, various detours took me both uphill and downhill, evening out to "mostly flat", I guess. I entered the Capitol through the tunnel and was somewhat surprised at the absence of other tourists. I joined a tour and was pleased to see both the House and Senate chambers. Of course, lawmakers in the part-time January to April legislature were not in evidence, and since the House chamber was roped off, I didn't even have the opportunity of seeing the desks of the Tennessee Three.

My walk back to the hotel felt a little  more arduous. I have little sense of direction, and was dismayed to be unable to read the map on my phone in very bright sunlight. Moreover, by the time I got downtown, the people around me were so noisy that I couldn't hear directions either. From my position, I couldn't see my landmark Bridgestone Arena, home of the Nashville Predators. I asked several guys on the stree how to get there, only to be met with a blank stare, except by one confident looking young guy who pointed in one (wrong) direction: "There's a bridge over there", he said unhelpfully. I decided a bartender would be my best bet, and of course, that was indeed the case.

That evening Harry joined Marilyn and me for dinner at Hand Cut in the hotel. The menu was fairly interesting but I really wasn't very hungry, so I went for a chicken club on a bun, washed down with watermelon hard seltzer. Harry and Marilyn had more substantil meals (pasta for her, coulotte steak for him, with sides of brussels sprouts and asparagus). The next morning Marilyn and I simply packed after breakfast and Ubered to the airport at 1:30 p.m.

 I was surprised to witness very little evidence of the November 5 election. No talk, campaign buttons, billboards or political posters. Many convention attendees joined a throng of tourists everywhere. What impressed me the most was the good humor and courtesy of everyone we met. Tourism generates a lot of revenue for Tennessee, and Nashville certainly attracts a lot of people from "elsewhere", including hotel clerks, customer servce staff, entertainers, and even my tour guide at the Capitol.

Nashville is a great city to visit, with lots of activities all year. We really enjoyed the weather, with cool temperatures in the morning and evening, and 80F every day. It really was a wonderful week.

END OF SUMMER - THORACIC SURGERY T+104

My right middle lobe lobectomy was on Friday, May 24. I had my 3-month appointment 104 days later on Thursday, September 5.  While I wasn't dreading the results of the CT scan, I did feel a little apprehensive, despite the fact I've felt really great over the summer and I've actually forgotten about the surgery.

The CT scan showed no recurrence of cancer and no new nodules. The only negative comment in the radiology narrative was "Enlarging prominent right hilar lymph node which is favored to be reactive. Recommend attention on follow-up". Harry Marshall told me it was still within the "range of normal" and probably nothing to worry about. So I'm considering myself "good to go".

The Turn at 74

Most friends and acquaintances know that I begin expecting "the turn" sometime after my Autust 10th birthday. This year I was somewhat preoccupied with the shocking thought that, at 74, I was now in my md-seventies. While the numbers don't lie, I choose to believe the "you're as old as you feel" fallacy -- a convenient one for me right now since I feel great and still look pretty good.

Back to the turn. I think of it as the day that marks the undeniable approaching end of summer. The first signs are often subtlle. In my hometown of Temiscaming, Québec, as soon as I was old enough to stay up beyond my childhood betime of 7 PM, I joined the other kids on Elm Street for a pic-up ball game, jump rope (we called it skipping), or play games like Rover Rover and, when dark began to fall, hide and seek. Sometime after my birthday, blackness descended quickly about half an hour before the mill whistle went off at nine, when most of us usually had to be home. I would remember that the next few weeks would have to be enjoyed because the turn had come and summer's end was near. Similar signs have marked the turn in all the places I've lived.

On Saturday, I recognized the turn when I stuck my head outside the sunroom door as the sun was rising. It was definitely jacket weather. Later on, as I walking (jacketless) through the neighborhood, I felt a bit of a cold bite in the wind, and I thought to myself that the final five-minute walk home would be frigid only a few months from now, when I would no doubt bitterly regret wearing a flimsy headband instead of a hat.

However, the turn is just a reminder that we need to enjoy summer while we have it. After a few days below "normal" (a word that really means little in Minnesota, where temps often vary widely in a matter of hours), we're headed into a warming trend. There is so much summer left and, if we're lucky, we'll have a colorful fall full of warmth and beauty. For now, "the turn" is just one of the memories of my 74th birthday.

41st Wedding Anniversary - A Good Day for New Beginnings

I occasionally think about the last four decades and wonder where the time went. However, some days (and weeks and months!) have gone by slowly and each year is distinct in my mind, with thousands of photos as memory aids. As my brother Al noted many years ago, my husband Bob is a guy "to ride the river with" -- a phrase in one of the Louis Lamour novels Al introduced me to. Bob and I are still on a really good ride and most of the time we live with a lot of joy. I'll add this anniversary to a long list of  days savored and remembered.

Water is definitely a recurring theme for me, and I'm never happier than when in or around water. I really missed swimming most of last school year. I was a teaching assistant, then a substitute teacher, at St. Croix Catholic School. While I loved the students and was so happy to be teaching again, I kept getting sick throughout the year, with one respiratory virus after another. Hitting the pool was the last thing I wanted to do.

I haven't done anyswimming since we left Florida at the end of March but last week I was given the OK to go back to the pool. This morning, I felt a little fearful stepping into the water at my favorite Maplewood Y, not knowing whether I'd even be able to swim a short distance. While I don't feel much pain a month after surgery, I really hadn't put my upper body muscles to much of a test until today.

Turns out my apprehension was unfounded. I asked one of the slow swimmers if I could share a lane and tentatively did a couple of lengths of breaststroke. I gradually found a new rhythm (quite slow but not pathetic) and seamlessly resumed my pattern of alternating a length of breast with one of backstroke. My goal was a modest 10 laps but I easily swam 20 (500 yards) , way short of my usual 40 but still not too bad. 

We're not celebrating an anniversary dinner until Friday, but today sure feels like a celebration to me. It's a hot day and ice cream may be on the menu.

SPRING AGENDA - THORACIC SURGERY 05.24.24: T+15 - Good to Go!

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I opened the pathology report with a little trepidation on Wednesday, on the first day of the promised  window of "seven to  ten working days".  I can see why it took so long -- the document is extensive, well presented and easy to understand, at least for someone who has been researching lung nodule issues for nearly eight months now. The next day, I had my first post-surgery follow-up at the M Health Fairview thoracic clinic next to St. John's Hospital in Maplewood.

The nodule was indeed cancerous: not the best outcome but certainly not the worst, because the cancer was confined to the nodule and neither surrounding tissue nor lymph nodes were malignant. No further treatment, so no radiation, chemo or other medication. CT scans every 3 months for several years and TBD thereafter. I have to stay current with the usual cancer screenings (skin, mammogram, colonoscopy, etc.). I have another post-surgery appointment in two weeks, and a follow-up with my family medicine clinic on June 21.

I't's almost 9 AM and I've been up for almost five hours. I haven't had any Tylenol yet and feel quite well -- maybe I've made the turn! The pain is no longer a constant reminder of the major underlying change in my anatomy and I should make a full recovery. My biggest limitation will be my own tendency to jump the gun and do too much, rather than too little.

I guess I've now achieved a bizarre Trifecta: multiple sclerosis, Crohn's disease, cancer.  I expect the grace and good luck I've experienced with the first two will carry me through the third, particularly since I've also been the beneficiary of so many prayers and strong positive energy from family, friends, casual acquaintances and even total strangers.

🙏📿🍀☘️

June 6, 2024. 80th Anniversary of D-Day.

Normandy Memories

This morning, I watched coverage of the 80^th anniversary of D-Day, at the American Cemetery in Normandy.

I remembered that beautiful coast of the English Channel as one of the highlights of our 2007 visit to France. For Bob and me and some other members of our tour, it was really a pilgrimage to the beaches where the allied invasion of Europe began on June 6, 1944. The D-Day Museum is in the small town of Arromanches, forever linked in history to the fateful days of that summer. Here the allies built an artificial harbor to land troops and supplies after the initial landings in June. From this place, the troops began the long trek to Paris: 271 km (about 170 miles), a very long way from the coast. Today, it is peaceful and beautiful, but ever mindful of the events of WWII, the Normans do not forget. In the bay, the artifacts of the long-ago installation are a reminder of the engineering brilliance tresponsible for the design and execution of this installation in a region controlled by the Nazis.

The day was overcast and rainy as we walked toward the memorial in the American Cemetery. The beaches were quiet, shrouded in mist. The graves of those who died here are well tended, in even rows that extend farther than the eye can see. A wall memorializing the fallen is graven with the names of young men from every state, it seems, and several foreign countries. Our traveling companion, John Abbott, noted that the beach did not look like this when he was in this bay on that day in 1944! He was an 18-year-old sailor in the British Navy, working communications above a magazine. He claimed that those who landed were the heroes, but we knew differently, standing in awe of his humility and courage. Like so many others, he did not expect to survive that day. It was an honor to witness his return at the age of 81.

Today the presidents of France and the United States both spoke reverently as they honored the very old veterans in the audience, all nearing or over 100 years old. Eleven US veterans received the Legion of Honor, France’s highest honor. For me, there were no words. Just tears.

SPRING AGENDA - THORACIC SURGERY 05.24.24: T+10 - Enough Already

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I was starting to feel like a whiner and complainer, upset with myself for being a wimp. I'm not used to running out of energy after a short time of activity, or feeling tired in the middle of the afternoon. I have even less familiarity with looking forward to bedtime, but I've been watching the clock every evening.

Yesterday, we went to Mass and breakfast in the morning, and I was totally spent by the time we got home. It wasn't even 11 AM yet, so I was dismayed to feel weighed down by fatigue and lack of ambition. I mentioned the absence of stamina in my regular Sunday call to my sister Marilyn.

I should have known this, but either didn't know or had forgotten that fatigue after surgery is not uncommon. Marilyn reminded me that the body is stressed after surgery and needs time and  rest to repair tissues and heal. Because healing requires a lot of energy, it's not unusual for a person to feel tired. So It's going to take a while, and this knowledge immediately made me better. Marilyn may have spent her career as a psychiatrist but she still gives good medical advice.

🍁In other news, yesterday evening the Edmonton Oilers won the NHL Western Conference by defeating the Dallas Stars in Game 6. On to the Stanley Cup series. 

SPRING AGENDA - THORACIC SURGERY 05.24.24: T+8 - Veering Toward Normal

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Yesterday was a close to normal day, though I'm still reluctant to be too far from home. We had lunch at Lakewood Tavern to celebrate two birthdays (Chris, May 25; Bob, June 1). There were 10 of us, including not-so-little Aggie and Johnny. It rained off and on all day, so much that we are considered to be out of our long drought.

Today started off cloudy but the sun soon came out and the feel of early summer (a little different from late spring) was in the air. Sonia came over for a visit and then we spent a couple of hours at Meg and Scott's, where they were burning brush. A group of us sat outside and watched as we talked.

While I felt thoroughly tired by mid-afternoon -- totally ready for a cup of tea -- I managed just fine. We are spending the rest of Bob's birthday quietly at home. As long as I keep some pressure on the middle of my back on the right side, I don't notice too much pain. 

SPRING AGENDA - THORACIC SURGERY 05.24.24: T+7 - One Week Anniversary

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It's a good thing to have nothing to report. The pain is now more "nagging" than anything else, and if I can sit with pressure on the right side of my back I'm good. No more thoughts of  violent attacks with bats, clubs, knives or hammers.

I vacuumed the carpets and swiffered the floors yesterday, with no problems. I still tire easily but I'm gettting my stamina back too.

Any news about me was eclipsed by the Manhattan jury's verdict late this afternoon. Former President Donald Trump was convicted of 34 felony counts in his hush money trial.

SPRING AGENDA - THORACIC SURGERY 05.24.24: T+6 - Turning Point?

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After crashing on Tuesday evening, I was careful yesterday and managed my activities quite well all day. Still, it's very frustrating -- nothing says "physical wreck" like wondering if you have enough energy to walk to the mailbox and back. I want to  have a little more empathy for people who have to live this way all the time, in circumstances far less pleasant than mine.

One of the thoracic surgery nurses called me yesterday and encouranged me to take a shower (duh -- done as soon as the post surgery 48 hours were up) and take off the bandages (the take-home instructions said something like "at your discretion", so I hadn't touched them). The dressing removal was a game changer. I immediately felt better with nothing pulling at the skin on my side and back. It sure made getting into bed less difficult.

I'm going to stop reporting on pain. I feel now as though I've been hammered with one of those meat tenderizer mallets. Pain didn't keep me awake. I did that all on my own, as I gradually regain the insomniac tendencies that cause me to bound out of bed at 5 AM. I'm not doing much bounding yet, but I got up at my usual early hour.

The only anxiety now is waiting for biopsy results. I was told yesterday that the timeframe is "7-10 business days". That takes us well into next week, when I have several follow-up medical appointments on Thursday and Friday. While I may not need more treatment if the nodule and/or lymph nodes were cancerous, I would like to know.

SPRING AGENDA - THORACIC SURGERY 05.24.24: T+5

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Late evening seems to be my worst time.  I try not to get settled in bed to watch TV until after sunset (8:48 PM yesterday) and I'm exhausted by then. I was dismayed that it was still very painful to get myself re-positioned once Bob came in after the Timberwolves beat the Mavericks (Dallas; Game 4; 105-100). Crying jag until the last dose of Tylenol kicked in. 

I actually had a good night and felt somewhat refreshed when I woke at 3 AM. No more hunting knife in my back. The instrument of torture felt like a paint scraper or chisel, and I sensed some residual pain from last Friday's baseball bat. This morning I was up shortly after my usual 5 AM and I got back to doing my Spanish in the sunroom. I feel more like "me".

Today is beautiful, nothing like yesterday's intermittent showers. The sun is shining; the sky is blue. I'm listening to "Morning Joe" on MSNBC. The phrase "blocking and tackling", used in this segment in reference to the 2024 presidential campaign, seems to be applicable to my situation as well. Figuratively, of course.

Blocking and tackling. I can do this.

SPRING AGENDA - THORACIC SURGERY 05.24.24: T+4

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Yesterday was a fine day. Several walks, a little drive in the country. Not much to do except look at the windows that need a good wash, and I window washing is a little beyond the limits of both my energy and physical ability right now. We seem to have a lot of rain every day, so this is probably not a good time for that project anyway.

Last night I had no trouble getting settled in bed. My wounds didn't bother me and the ribs felt pretty good too. Best of all, when I woke up at 3 AM, I had graduated from machete to hunting knife in the pain department. It's nearly noon on Tuesday, and the knife feels as though it's twisting around in my back but it's all very tolerable. I don't know how a twisting hunting knife can possibly be an improvement over a slashing machete, but it is, at least in this analogy.

The biggest challenge is cobbling together a good seating arrangement. So many sofas and chairs that other people find comfortable are too big for me and I need a straight back. I'm sitting with a firm foam cushion behind me, and I have an adjustable tray table in front.

We're good for now!

SPRING AGENDA - THORACIC SURGERY 05.24.24: T+3 - Memorial Day

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Beautiful flowers from my brother Allan and sister-in-law Laurel yesterday. They really gave me a big lift on what could have been a challenging day.

I didn't do too much but was happy to walk around the west Upper 9th Place oval a couple of times for a grand total of about a quarter of a mile. Just a start, I guess. I don't want to be out in a crowd because of the risk of getting a cold or other virus, so I'm going to limit activity for a while. Yes, I should wear a mask but it's hard with glasses and I tend to hyperventilate, so it's out for now. Bob and I did get to Lund's & Byerly's, which was almost empty in mid-afternoon. Back to Mass next Sunday.

I woke up laughing at 2 AM, thinking about the first question I got about pain in the hospital. For some reason I didn't answer with the expected number between 0 (no pain) to 10 (worst pain ever), and got a strange look when I said it was llike I'd been hit by a baseball bat. A minute or so later, I revised the weapon to a golf club. Last night I felt "slashed by a machete" but am quite well just after 9 AM and the pain is very manageable, between 2 and 3. For the record, thoughts of violent weapons really came out of nowhere -- just the product of a wild imagination. 

My first shower felt wonderful on this Memorial Day. I'm watching stories about those who served and paid the price of freedom. As he has done in the past, former NATO Supreme Commander James G. Stavridis paraphrased the last phrase of the national anthem: we live in the "land of the free because of the brave."

SPRING AGENDA - THORACIC SURGERY 05.24.24: T+2 - Not so Quick, Missy

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Yesterday was a great day. Most important, I wasn't dead or dying; next, I came through the surgery without a stroke or heart attack or any other awful event, and I seemed to be thinking as clearly as one can under difficult circumstances.

I had a light supper and enjoyed yet another popsicle before going to bed. And then ... a heavy ache exacerbated by the burden of fatigue hit me. I found myself watching the clock, waiting for 8:00 PM when I could take 1000 mg of Tylenol. Before bed, I decided to go for the gabapentin (common brand name is Neurontin -- one of those multi-use drugs that helps with nerve pain and for me, it acts as a sleep inducer) and methocarbamal (common brand name is Robaxin -- for muscle spasms, which I tend to have anyway, because of MS, I think).

Getting into bed was awful. I sat down too far from the head of the bed, and moving back felt as though as I was sliding over bumpy wood. We have an adjustable split king bed, so fortunately I could fool around with controls until I found a reasonably comfortable position. I whined and swore. Not my finest moment.

Finally I got settled, but the only thing that kept me for resorting to oxycodone was the thought that I'd have to start all over again with the bed. Now, I specifically avoid any kind of heavy duty painkiller because opiates not only confuse my mind but also give me a headache and nausea. So this is evidence of how desperate I had become. I tried to quiet my mind with a few Hail Marys and eventually fell asleep. I was awake for a couple of hours after 3:00 AM but woke this morning at seven, a full two hours after I usually get out of bed.

I can't take a shower until tomorrow but managed to get reasonably clean, and I thought of my wonderful nurse Alice who laughed when I told her I didn't want to smell. The anticoagulant shot in the abdomen (enoxaparin -- common brand name is Lovenox) was easy from years of experience with myself (Avonex for MS) and Fritz the cat (insulin for diabetes).

I'm sitting at the dining room table in a straight back chair with a pillow behind me, and that may be the best position, as it so often is. Feeling energetic again, so this should be a good day!

SPRING AGENDA - THORACIC SURGERY 05.24.24: T+1 Discharge

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The day was almost shockingly easy. I was visited by three people on the thoracic team today at 7 AM and declared in good shape, probably ready for discharge sometime in the afternoon. The morning was filled with blood tests, a chest X-ray from a portable machine wheeled into my room, a session with a physical therapist, and many visits from my nursing team.

After being on a clear liquid diet since Thursday, including three delicious popsicles, I was allowed to have regular food. I ordered a roast beef sandwich on whole wheat bread with swiss cheese, lettuce and tomato (no condiments) and I've never had anything so delicious. A couple of graham crackers and vanilla pudding seemed like a goormet dessert. I also managed to down three cups of hospital coffee, not very good and I really wonder if there was any caffeine in them at all.

My wonderful nurse Alice told me at 12:45 PM that I was being kicked out, so I called Bob, who arrived 45 minutes later but ended up having to wait for about another 45 minutes until I was ready to go. Alice walked me to the pharmacy to pick up my prescriptions, and, for the first time ever, I walked out of a hospital instead of being wheeled.

I've been home for an hour or so and am enjoying a cup of my own Earl Gray tea. I do have some pain in my ribs on the right side, but Tylenol seems to work well on it. Since there won't be any news until I get a biopsy report, I probably won't have anything to blog about for a few days.

So, in the end, there wasn't much drama at all: just excellent medicine in a top medical facility.

SPRING AGENDA - THORACIC SURGERY 05.24.24: T+1

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I was so wired, literally and figuratively, that I wondered if I would be able to sleep. I finally turned off the light after midnight and slept for about three hours. I've been up since about 3:30. So far I've had two popsicles since dinner on Thursday evening and the notation on my whiteboard hasn't changed from "clear" yet. I could use aslice of toast!

Otherwise I'm doing fine. I love hearing the nurses' stories. Jessica moved to Minneapolis at the age of  8 from Idaho, where she was a Mexican migrant worker. Jessica's mother, who speaks little English, has had a hard life. She's also worked several of those physically demanding meatpacking jobs. Jessica graciously spoke Spanish with me and complimented me on my fluency, even though I still had that colorless sound thatt seems to characterize my speech after surgery. I think I'm better this morning and am losing that one-cocktail-too-many vibe.

I no longer have supplemental oxygen and my dressings have been changed. I do feel a little tired but I think that will pass. I'm hoping to check off occupational and physical therapy today. I'm overwhelmed by the positive energy and prayers everyone who has lifted me up these last few days. No one could ask for more!

SPRING AGENDA - THORACIC SURGERY 05.24.24: Surgery Today

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The day finally arrived. I woke up at my usual time and went through my usual morning routine – Spanish, Wordle, stock market review. Took the required shower (first one was last night) and cleaned the guest bathroom. Did a last load of laundry. Chris arrived shortly after 9:30 and headed with Bob and me to the hospital in non-rush hour traffic. Arrived before my 10:50 appointment and almostimmediately got into the pre-op routine. Bob and Chris were with me until I went into surgery at 2:30 -- they had a very long wait because I didn’t get out of surgery until 6:30 and weren't allowed to see me until just before visiting hours ended at 8:00. It was a very hard day for them, and I really appreciated their presence.

The biopsy during surgery was “inconclusive” for now. Someone on the medical team talked to Bob and Chris and said we’d have results in about a week. I think I’ll have a chance to talk to one of the two surgeons tomorrow, and I expect to be more “with the program” then, so I’ll have a clearer understanding of what’s ahead.

The right lung middle lobe was removed. I woke up from surgery quickly, though for the first seconds I thought I was in the recovery room from a previous surgery – not sure which one. I had ice chips  and apple juice, got my phone and laptop. The oxygen sensor on my left middle finger makes it hard to type and I fear that talk-to-text would require too many corrections. I finally got into a room at about 9, I think. I've been up already and am fairly stable, though I've been warned not to walk on my own.

Nurses and techs keep coming in to check and, well, test. I can read results on my online chart, and everything is normal so far. I'm still drinking juice and cooling my mouth with ice. My pain is minimal at 11 PM.I really feel as well as anyone could under the circumstances. I’ve texted a few people and talked with Bob. I’m sad that the Timberwolves lost Game 2 to the Mavericks. Thank you, friends, for all the texts, cards and good wishes. I couldn’t be a more fortunate person! Looking forward to a good day tomorrow and a more coherent post.

SPRING AGENDA - THORACIC SURGERY 05.24.24: T-1

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I'm as ready as I can be. My main objective was to make it through the last couple of weeks without getting a cold -- and so far, so good. We've had a lot of rain in the last week and I have the probably mistaken idea that viruses are washed away and the air outside is clear and clean.

Yesterday evening we enjoyed a short visit from DIL Meggan, whose energy and positive attitude are energizing and encouraging. She and other family members will be spending the Memorial Day weekend in the Upper Peninsula. No weekend trip for us this year! As Bob joked yesterday, we'll be celebrating on the East Bank .

SPRING AGENDA - THORACIC SURGERY 05.24.24: T-4

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In the last couple of weeks I've sent private messages to a number of friends and family, so that they wouldn't learn this rather news indirectly. I decided this morning that I just couldn't cover everyone so I"ll just stop now. On Thursday I'll post a link to this blog and go on from there.

I'd be ready to show up for surgery tomorrow if I got a call. I'd simply race through the things I want to get done before Friday, mostly involving various degrees of cleaning. What kind of pathetic person has a to-do list consisting of changing sheets, doing laundry, vacuuming, washing floors, and cleaning bathrooms? I see only one hand raised!

I've received so many positive messages from people that I feel a little overwhelmed. The "kindness of strangers" is  exceeded only by the warmth and care of those closest to me. So thank you all.

SPRING AGENDA - THORACIC SURGERY 05.24.24: Backstory

When we returned from Florida in March I couldn't foresee that the months of April and May would be mostly consist of medical appointments and preparation for surgery. Suddenly my self-imposed timeline took on real meaning: projects that require any kind of physical exertion are being completed now, rather than spread out over the summer.

A Little History

I'm a "rule follower" in most aspects of my life and I usually schedule the annual visit with my primary medical provider in the fall, so that I can update any immunizations at the same time. At last October's visit, I remembered to ask if I sill needed a lung CT scan (actually, I'd thought it was a chest X-ray), like previous imaging ordered periodically because of presumed benign lung nodules found a number of years ago. I hadn't had one since the COVID pandemic, but there was no reason to expect any change. And there wasn't.

However, a new “suspicious”, “spiculated” lung nodule about 1.5cm in diameter was seen in my right lung (middle lobe). I was immediately referred to pulmonologist Dr. Jennifer Wong sho ordered a PET scan and then a biopsy on December 13.  No malignancy was found in either the nodule or the lymph nodes. A full complement of tests uncovered no fungal or bacterial infection. I kind of forgot about the issue until we returned from Florida at the end of March.

I had a follow-up CT scan on April 4 and was somewhat surprised to learn that the nodule had increased in size a little, adding to the concern. Pulmonary function tests were all normal (I like to think “better than most!”) and I saw thoracic surgeon Dr. Rafael Santiago Andrade on April 18.  Since it was unlikely that anything would be gained from a repeat biopsy, Dr. Andrade recommended surgery, now scheduled for May 24, to remove the nodule and obtain a definitive diagnosis. The nodule will be tested for cancer, and if none is found, excision of the nodule will be sufficient. If it is malignant, the middle lobe will be removed in that same surgery. If the nodule is cancerous, it is stage 1A (very early). 

Scans, Tests and Pre-op

I've almost lost count of the number of medical appointments, scans and tests. Yesterday, I had the pre-op exam and the surgery will go on, as scheduled. I knew that Dr. Andrade would be out ot town -- he didn't want the surgery to be delayed until his return, so my appointment was with his partner, Dr. Amit Bhargave. Dr. Bhargave is as well credentialed as his Dr. Andade and very personable as well. I feel confident that I am (literally) in good hands.

I have an excellent care team. My awesome nurse practitioner Breanna McCarthy and other medical professionals have called me immediately after "alarming" news was published on my online chart. There's nothing like empathetic human contact to calm one's nerves -- everyone I've met has "soft" people skills as well as professional expertise.

Next Steps

Nothing much to do, except practice breathing with a volumetric spirometer, stay hydrated, rested and well nourished. Late in morning on May 24, Bob will come with me to M-Health Fairview University of Minnesota Hospital - East Bank, where I had the biopsy before Christmas.  This is major surgery, with some risks, but I am a good candidate, and I should get through it OK. I expect to be in the hospital overnight and activities will be restricted for a week or so. Recovery will probably take a month and full recovery up to three months, but I should be able to enjoy the summer.

While this seems like "bad news", like a true Minnesotan I know "it could be a lot worse" and am particularly aware that the only reason the nodule was found at all was because of my previous history. I'm an optimistic person and overall, I feel very upbeat.

Updates to follow.

Cocoa Beach March 7-28, 2024

PHOTOS 

GETTING THERE

We had a rocky start to our time in Cocoa Beach. My mid-morning flight didn't leave until mid-afternoon, due to what was eventually revealed to be "smoke in the cabin". I easily connected with my Uber to Cocoa Beach and arrived around sunset. Time enough to order provisions from Publix and Total Wine, all to be delivered the next day. However, I hadn't eaten all day because of the problems leaving MSP, and there was absolutely nothing in the apartment. So I was a little shaky and quite cranky.

Bob didn't arrive until the next day, because his opthalmologist, Dr. Huda Sheheitli, refused to clear him for travel until she had ensured that all was well after his eye surgery six weeks earlier. His own flight and car pick-up went without a hitch and he got to the condo in the late afternoon, in time for happy hour and a lenten Friday dinner of Gorton's fish fillets, baked in the oven, and surprisingly delicious.

We had a pleasant Saturday -- so easy to get used to a spectcacular sunrise and a great view of the lovely beach.

MINNESOTA VISITORS

We Minnesotans love our Florida vacations. In March, our first visitors were Sonia and Jim, who drove up from Sarasota where they were visiting friends from home. It was their first trip to Cocoa Beach so they enjoyed exploring the beach and walking all over town. One of their favorite spots for coffee: Grand Parlor Speakeasy Cafe. The cool darkness of the venue is particularly welcome on a hot day. The most fun for us was catching up, without time pressures or the distractions of daily life. Our guests  treated us to a good meal on a very windy day at Sunset Cafe.

John and Trudy were our next guests. They had been to Cocoa Beach last year so they had a good feel for what they wanted to do with their vacation time. They especially loved Port Canaveral, also one of Bob's favorite haunts. Lots of restaurants, people watching, cruise ships, various other boats, and miscellaneous activity ath the port. These visitors took us for a gourmet meal at Florida's Fresh Grill, where we ate and drank well.

They joined Bob and me for a meal with friends from my hometown of Temiscaming. We met at Fishlips and enjoyed our usual nonstop conversation. So much fun that our families support our desire to meet up in Florida.

The next gang arrived a few days after Trudy and John's departure.  Chris, Melissa, Aggie and Johnny rented their own condo in the same building, directly below us on the fourth floor. As happy as I was to see the adults, it was most fun for me to play with the children. Chris brought them up to visit every morning and before bedtime. They learned how to make our king bed and then showed off their skills on their own beds. We spent a lot of time in the pool, where the water wings were a huge success -- I had them ready because the entire pool is really too deep for young children. I was amazed at their excellent listening skills, respecting the imaginary perimeter I created in the "shallow" end of the pool.

A major hightlight: "breaking news!". One very chilly afternoon a group of "kids" (really young adults) arrived. One guy did a huge cannonball into the pool, announcing "Breaking News!'. Others soon followed and our little ones were thrilled and totally mesmerized. Aggie was soon doing her own cannonballs, shouting "breaking news!" with every jump. Our new friends at the other end of the pool proclaimed one of her jumps "the best", thereby making her day. Johnny was an observer until the next day, when he told me quietly that he was ready to do "breaking news", an expression will forever bring me back to that happy afternoon in the pool.

The day after they arrived, we met up with my cousin Nancy Rentz and her husband Tom, who joined us for lunch at Fishlips after driving up the coast from Vero Beach, on their ways to the Gulf coast. It was great to catch up and, especially, to have Chris, Mel and the kids meet Nancy and Tom. Family means so much to all of us and I'm always so happy to see people make connections.

The surf was pounding for virtually the entire time of their visit, but they made tood use of their time. I enjoyed taking pictures of the family from the rooftop. 

ROCKET LAUNCHES

All of our visitors got to see at least one rocket launch. The roof was the best location, but we got a fairly good view from our own balcony. I've seen quite a few launches now, and while they're not quite as exciting as the space shuttle we saw (Endeavour, April 19, 2001), it's still an emotional sight to watch in the sky over Cocoa Beach. I didn't get a good picture, but I can conjure up the memory of the ship in the sky, as it disappears into the heavens.

HOME ON HOLY THURSDAY

A familiar sore throat work me up one night late in our stay and by the time we left for home I was feeling very sick with a bad cold. I missed the Triduum and even Mass on Easter Sunday. No church, no choir for me. I was happy to be home with good memories of our 2024 Florida vacation.

Happy New Year!

Goodbye, 2023!

On New Year's Eve we finally had a little snow overnight, just enough to cover the icy glaze on the driveway and patio. I finished up a few end-of-year tasks before shoveling the driveway for the first time this season. There was too little snow for the neighborhood plow and it felt good to be out in the cold for even a short time. As always, I felt happy at the prospect of new geginnings in a new year.

• After being very healthy during the worst of COVID, I fell back into my old upper respiratory virus winter routine beginning in January. It was a really bad year for me for coughs and colds. As I write this, I'm recovering from yet another bout of feeling absolutely terrible for several weeks.
• I cleared more snow last winter season than I had since I was in Grade 9 in the winter of 1964-65. That year I had recklessly agreed to shovel our house steps and walkway, front and back, using a heavy steel shovel. The snow stuck to the shovel and the winter seemed interminable, much as it did last year.
• We went back to the Space Coast of Florida for two weeks in March. We stayed in a condo with a beautiful partial view of the Atlantic. The pool was great and so cold at the beginning of our stay tha, predictably, I was the only one using it.
• I began work as a teaching assistant at St. Croix Catholic School in Stillwater. I help Caroline Bauer with 3rd, 4th and 5th grade music classes one day a week. Some days are grueling and I'm glad I don't work fulltime anymore.
• I sing in the choir at Guardian Angels Church in Oakdale. This is the church my beloved father-in-law, Harold Hennessey, attended before the "new" church was built in the 80s. It's also where I attended confirmation classes with Bob's granddaughters Angie and Dana, so the church always seemed somewhat familiar to me. I love choir. The members were very friendly to newcomers like me and one woman was particularly welcoming and kind. Now, almost four months in, I happily take my seat in the alto section on Thursday evenings and most Sunday mornings.
• The Wild and Vikes both lost their games, to the Jets and Packers, respectively. Let 2024 begin well for both teams.

Welcome, 2024!

In my hometown of Temiscaming New Year's Day always seemed cold and grey. I usually went to early Mass "to get it out of the way" and remember sitting in St. Theresa's Church feeling overheated and itchy. The pastor, Monseigneur Latourelle, would give a variation of the same homily every year and we always sang the same song:

Mon Dieu bénissez la nouvelle année

Rendez heureux nos parents, nos amis

Elle est toute à vous et nous est donnée

Pour mériter le Paradis. 

Pour mériter le Paradis. 

I enjoyed watching the Rose Bowl parade on our black & white TV and made a resolution to attend the Rose Bowl in Pasadena someday -- one that I haven't yet kept but I still watch the parade, so beautiful on the large, high-pixel TVs we have now. When I was a teenager, I often went skiing on this day and in my twenties, during a time when I liked to party, I decided that New Year's Eve was NOT a good night to go out. I got into the habit of going to bed early so that I could wake up clear-headed and energetic on New Year's morning.

Bob is pretty much in agreement with my on the revelry issue so we rarely venture very far on New Year's Eve and "partying" is limited to one drink for him and a couple for me. Today, I hope to deliver our grandson Johnny's third birthday present, a parking garage so that he doesn't have to appropriate (read "steal") his sister's doll house to park his vehicle collection.

Happy New Year! May 2024 be the year we see peace in Ukraine and the Middle East.

Merry Christmas

This year winter has not really begun yet. The winter solstice came and went, and on this cloudy Christmas morning the temperature is 52F, with no snow in sight. Yesterday, we enjoyed Mexican Christmas Eve with Jim and Sonia and their beautiful family.  In the late evening, we drove to Guardian Angels Church in the rain for the vigil Mass. Choir and liturgy director Zach Stachowski led the choir and instrumentalists so masterfully that I felt happy with the music we so lovingly played and sang.

As I listened to the Christmas readings, I thought about far away wars in Ukraine and the Middle East, and the holy places without pilgrims this year. I remembered photos of then Palestine taken by my father, Harry J. Ryan, when he served with the Royal Canadian Air Force during WWII. He wrote to my mother (then Mary Macpherson) in 1942 that "here I am on leave in a city in Palestine called TEL-AVIV (pardon the printing but habit makes me print names). It is 20 miles from Jerusalem, about 40 from Bethlehem  and Jericho ." 

The world was then at war, but in that troubled time my dad was able to visit the Church of the Nativity in Bethlehem and take a photo of the place Christians believe Jesus was born. This is a photo from that era. There have been so many attempts at achieving peace  in the Middle East in the 80 years since the end of that war. So many seem to have been half-hearted and self-serving, and here we are still today with so much pain, sufferting and hatred.

As I think about all the victims of war, conflict and poverty around the world, I'm grateful for, and hopeful because of, those who work for the common good at home and abroad, including military personnel, members of the foreign service, humanitarians and all people of good will who won't give up on striving for peace. Happy Christmas to all! 

Let there be Peace on Earth

Jill Jackson/Sy Miller

Let there be peace on earth

And let it begin with me

Let there be peace on earth

The peace that was meant to be

With God as our Father

Brothers all are we

Let me walk with my brother

In perfect harmony.

Let peace begin with me

Let this be the moment now.

With ev'ry step I take

Let this be my solemn vow

To take each moment and live

Each moment in peace eternally

Let there be peace on earth

And let it begin with me