Chiropractic for Unbelievers

All my life I thought chiropractors were quacks. However, a few years ago I developed worsening upper back and shoulder pain on my left side after I changed jobs. For some reason, the position of the chair, work surface, keyboard and mouse seemed to combine to create a painful workstation and, soon, non-stop cramping from below my left shoulder all the way up to my ear.

On Good Friday 2012, I sat in church listening to the reading of the Passion, in so much pain that I absent mindedly picked up the Easter bulleting. An ad for Caron Chropractic caught my attention. I endured a painful Easter weekend and called the office on Monday. I could have had an appointment the same day, but my schedule was such that I had to wait until a few days later. I felt immediate relief after my first session and returned twice. Since then, I've returned for an "adjustment' three times, most recently for two sessions in October. Each appointment follows the same pattern.

Electrical Stimulation I think of the first treatment as the "electrocution phase" -- what the clinics calls electrical stimulation -- administered in a dimly lighted room with three or four treatment tables.  Electrodes dipped in gel are placed on two affected points. In my case, one is under my left shoulder blade and the other is high on my neck. I lie on a padded table, with a pillowed support under my knees. The assistant fires up the current. and I let her know when it's strong enough. I like it good, strong and hot. I love hot electrical vibrations outlining my shoulder blade, like a strong, narrow shower spray. I'm always sorry when the current stops and I have to get up from the table.

Adjustment The adjustment is done in a private treatment room on a chiropractic table. I lie on my stomach and  the chiropractor uses a combination of manual adjustments and gravity, as sections of the table drop away, by design. I find the adjustment somewhat painful, but it feels as though the right parts in my back are moving. I then lie on my back and my neck is twisted, somewhat noisily. The neck twists feel good but I'm soon sitting on the side of the table.

Activator This is the hammer phase, using the activator technique. The chiropractor uses the activator device to administer rapidly delivered blows to the affected area, causing cramps and muscle spasms to resolve. The literature on this one is mixed, but I like the pounding and feel very relaxed afterward.

I suspect that the success of chiropractic treatment is highest for ailments like mine, caused by repetitive stress and long hours of sitting or working in the same position. I would be less inclined to submit to an adjustment if I had denegerative disk disease or osteoporosis. For me, though, chiropractic care is a great addition to my health care arsenal.

Delayed Humor

Now that I'm retired, I clean a little every day rather than in a marathon session on Friday evening or Saturday morning. Last Sunday, I decided to touch up the upstairs bathroom before my shower.

A minute or so into my session, I grabbed the can of cleanser and the bottom immediately popped out. Most of a large ("20% more, free") can landed in a little green mountain between the toilet and the vanity. The rest sprayed on toilet, in the sink, on my nightie and  in my hair. The air was full of a light green dust and I soon smelled chlorine as I inhaled some of the residue.

There was so much to clean up that I immediately picked up a couple of handfuls and dumped them in the toilet, sink and bathtub. I swept most of the rest of it up into a large paper bag, and was working on the stubborn little deposits in various cracks when Bob arrived to survey the damage.

By this time I was whimpering, but my tears turned to sobs when he very sensibly got out the vacuum cleaner and easily removed any evidence of cleanser. Why hadn't I thought of that? I looked in the mirror and cried some more at the disheveled, crazy looking woman with tears running down her  dusty face.  Then I finished the cleaning job I'd begun forty-five minutes before, rinsed the cleaner off my feet and took a shower.

Bob's attempts at humor were rejected and we went on, more or less happily, with our day. This morning I did laugh a little when I opened a brand new can of cleanser, with a very solid bottom.