The Turn at 74

Most friends and acquaintances know that I begin expecting "the turn" sometime after my Autust 10th birthday. This year I was somewhat preoccupied with the shocking thought that, at 74, I was now in my md-seventies. While the numbers don't lie, I choose to believe the "you're as old as you feel" fallacy -- a convenient one for me right now since I feel great and still look pretty good.

Back to the turn. I think of it as the day that marks the undeniable approaching end of summer. The first signs are often subtlle. In my hometown of Temiscaming, Québec, as soon as I was old enough to stay up beyond my childhood betime of 7 PM, I joined the other kids on Elm Street for a pic-up ball game, jump rope (we called it skipping), or play games like Rover Rover and, when dark began to fall, hide and seek. Sometime after my birthday, blackness descended quickly about half an hour before the mill whistle went off at nine, when most of us usually had to be home. I would remember that the next few weeks would have to be enjoyed because the turn had come and summer's end was near. Similar signs have marked the turn in all the places I've lived.

On Saturday, I recognized the turn when I stuck my head outside the sunroom door as the sun was rising. It was definitely jacket weather. Later on, as I walking (jacketless) through the neighborhood, I felt a bit of a cold bite in the wind, and I thought to myself that the final five-minute walk home would be frigid only a few months from now, when I would no doubt bitterly regret wearing a flimsy headband instead of a hat.

However, the turn is just a reminder that we need to enjoy summer while we have it. After a few days below "normal" (a word that really means little in Minnesota, where temps often vary widely in a matter of hours), we're headed into a warming trend. There is so much summer left and, if we're lucky, we'll have a colorful fall full of warmth and beauty. For now, "the turn" is just one of the memories of my 74th birthday.

41st Wedding Anniversary - A Good Day for New Beginnings

I occasionally think about the last four decades and wonder where the time went. However, some days (and weeks and months!) have gone by slowly and each year is distinct in my mind, with thousands of photos as memory aids. As my brother Al noted many years ago, my husband Bob is a guy "to ride the river with" -- a phrase in one of the Louis Lamour novels Al introduced me to. Bob and I are still on a really good ride and most of the time we live with a lot of joy. I'll add this anniversary to a long list of  days savored and remembered.

Water is definitely a recurring theme for me, and I'm never happier than when in or around water. I really missed swimming most of last school year. I was a teaching assistant, then a substitute teacher, at St. Croix Catholic School. While I loved the students and was so happy to be teaching again, I kept getting sick throughout the year, with one respiratory virus after another. Hitting the pool was the last thing I wanted to do.

I haven't done anyswimming since we left Florida at the end of March but last week I was given the OK to go back to the pool. This morning, I felt a little fearful stepping into the water at my favorite Maplewood Y, not knowing whether I'd even be able to swim a short distance. While I don't feel much pain a month after surgery, I really hadn't put my upper body muscles to much of a test until today.

Turns out my apprehension was unfounded. I asked one of the slow swimmers if I could share a lane and tentatively did a couple of lengths of breaststroke. I gradually found a new rhythm (quite slow but not pathetic) and seamlessly resumed my pattern of alternating a length of breast with one of backstroke. My goal was a modest 10 laps but I easily swam 20 (500 yards) , way short of my usual 40 but still not too bad. 

We're not celebrating an anniversary dinner until Friday, but today sure feels like a celebration to me. It's a hot day and ice cream may be on the menu.

Spring Agenda - Thoracic Surgery 05.24.24: T+15 - Good to Go!

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I opened the pathology report with a little trepidation on Wednesday, on the first day of the promised  window of "seven to  ten working days".  I can see why it took so long -- the document is extensive, well presented and easy to understand, at least for someone who has been researching lung nodule issues for nearly eight months now. The next day, I had my first post-surgery follow-up at the M Health Fairview thoracic clinic next to St. John's Hospital in Maplewood.

The nodule was indeed cancerous: not the best outcome but certainly not the worst, because the cancer was confined to the nodule and neither surrounding tissue nor lymph nodes were malignant. No further treatment, so no radiation, chemo or other medication. CT scans every 3 months for several years and TBD thereafter. I have to stay current with the usual cancer screenings (skin, mammogram, colonoscopy, etc.). I have another post-surgery appointment in two weeks, and a follow-up with my family medicine clinic on June 21.

I't's almost 9 AM and I've been up for almost five hours. I haven't had any Tylenol yet and feel quite well -- maybe I've made the turn! The pain is no longer a constant reminder of the major underlying change in my anatomy and I should make a full recovery. My biggest limitation will be my own tendency to jump the gun and do too much, rather than too little.

I guess I've now achieved a bizarre Trifecta: multiple sclerosis, Crohn's disease, cancer.  I expect the grace and good luck I've experienced with the first two will carry me through the third, particularly since I've also been the beneficiary of so many prayers and strong positive energy from family, friends, casual acquaintances and even total strangers.

🙏📿🍀☘️

June 6, 2024. 80th Anniversary of D-Day.

Normandy Memories

This morning, I watched coverage of the 80^th anniversary of D-Day, at the American Cemetery in Normandy.

I remembered that beautiful coast of the English Channel as one of the highlights of our 2007 visit to France. For Bob and me and some other members of our tour, it was really a pilgrimage to the beaches where the allied invasion of Europe began on June 6, 1944. The D-Day Museum is in the small town of Arromanches, forever linked in history to the fateful days of that summer. Here the allies built an artificial harbor to land troops and supplies after the initial landings in June. From this place, the troops began the long trek to Paris: 271 km (about 170 miles), a very long way from the coast. Today, it is peaceful and beautiful, but ever mindful of the events of WWII, the Normans do not forget. In the bay, the artifacts of the long-ago installation are a reminder of the engineering brilliance tresponsible for the design and execution of this installation in a region controlled by the Nazis.

The day was overcast and rainy as we walked toward the memorial in the American Cemetery. The beaches were quiet, shrouded in mist. The graves of those who died here are well tended, in even rows that extend farther than the eye can see. A wall memorializing the fallen is graven with the names of young men from every state, it seems, and several foreign countries. Our traveling companion, John Abbott, noted that the beach did not look like this when he was in this bay on that day in 1944! He was an 18-year-old sailor in the British Navy, working communications above a magazine. He claimed that those who landed were the heroes, but we knew differently, standing in awe of his humility and courage. Like so many others, he did not expect to survive that day. It was an honor to witness his return at the age of 81.

Today the presidents of France and the United States both spoke reverently as they honored the very old veterans in the audience, all nearing or over 100 years old. Eleven US veterans received the Legion of Honor, France’s highest honor. For me, there were no words. Just tears.

Spring Agenda - Thoracic Surgery 05.24.24: T+10 - Enough Already

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I was starting to feel like a whiner and complainer, upset with myself for being a wimp. I'm not used to running out of energy after a short time of activity, or feeling tired in the middle of the afternoon. I have even less familiarity with looking forward to bedtime, but I've been watching the clock every evening.

Yesterday, we went to Mass and breakfast in the morning, and I was totally spent by the time we got home. It wasn't even 11 AM yet, so I was dismayed to feel weighed down by fatigue and lack of ambition. I mentioned the absence of stamina in my regular Sunday call to my sister Marilyn.

I should have known this, but either didn't know or had forgotten that fatigue after surgery is not uncommon. Marilyn reminded me that the body is stressed after surgery and needs time and  rest to repair tissues and heal. Because healing requires a lot of energy, it's not unusual for a person to feel tired. So It's going to take a while, and this knowledge immediately made me better. Marilyn may have spent her career as a psychiatrist but she still gives good medical advice.

🍁In other news, yesterday evening the Edmonton Oilers won the NHL Western Conference by defeating the Dallas Stars in Game 6. On to the Stanley Cup series. 

Spring Agenda - Thoracic Surgery 05.24.24: T+8 - Veering Toward Normal

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Yesterday was a close to normal day, though I'm still reluctant to be too far from home. We had lunch at Lakewood Tavern to celebrate two birthdays (Chris, May 25; Bob, June 1). There were 10 of us, including not-so-little Aggie and Johnny. It rained off and on all day, so much that we are considered to be out of our long drought.

Today started off cloudy but the sun soon came out and the feel of early summer (a little different from late spring) was in the air. Sonia came over for a visit and then we spent a couple of hours at Meg and Scott's, where they were burning brush. A group of us sat outside and watched as we talked.

While I felt thoroughly tired by mid-afternoon -- totally ready for a cup of tea -- I managed just fine. We are spending the rest of Bob's birthday quietly at home. As long as I keep some pressure on the middle of my back on the right side, I don't notice too much pain. 

Spring Agenda - Thoracic Surgery 05.24.24: T+7 - One Week Anniversary

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It's a good thing to have nothing to report. The pain is now more "nagging" than anything else, and if I can sit with pressure on the right side of my back I'm good. No more thoughts of  violent attacks with bats, clubs, knives or hammers.

I vacuumed the carpets and swiffered the floors yesterday, with no problems. I still tire easily but I'm gettting my stamina back too.

Any news about me was eclipsed by the Manhattan jury's verdict late this afternoon. Former President Donald Trump was convicted of 34 felony counts in his hush money trial.

Spring Agenda - Thoracic Surgery 05.24.24: T+6 - Turning Point?

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After crashing on Tuesday evening, I was careful yesterday and managed my activities quite well all day. Still, it's very frustrating -- nothing says "physical wreck" like wondering if you have enough energy to walk to the mailbox and back. I want to  have a little more empathy for people who have to live this way all the time, in circumstances far less pleasant than mine.

One of the thoracic surgery nurses called me yesterday and encouranged me to take a shower (duh -- done as soon as the post surgery 48 hours were up) and take off the bandages (the take-home instructions said something like "at your discretion", so I hadn't touched them). The dressing removal was a game changer. I immediately felt better with nothing pulling at the skin on my side and back. It sure made getting into bed less difficult.

I'm going to stop reporting on pain. I feel now as though I've been hammered with one of those meat tenderizer mallets. Pain didn't keep me awake. I did that all on my own, as I gradually regain the insomniac tendencies that cause me to bound out of bed at 5 AM. I'm not doing much bounding yet, but I got up at my usual early hour.

The only anxiety now is waiting for biopsy results. I was told yesterday that the timeframe is "7-10 business days". That takes us well into next week, when I have several follow-up medical appointments on Thursday and Friday. While I may not need more treatment if the nodule and/or lymph nodes were cancerous, I would like to know.

Spring Agenda - Thoracic Surgery 05.24.24: T+5

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Late evening seems to be my worst time.  I try not to get settled in bed to watch TV until after sunset (8:48 PM yesterday) and I'm exhausted by then. I was dismayed that it was still very painful to get myself re-positioned once Bob came in after the Timberwolves beat the Mavericks (Dallas; Game 4; 105-100). Crying jag until the last dose of Tylenol kicked in. 

I actually had a good night and felt somewhat refreshed when I woke at 3 AM. No more hunting knife in my back. The instrument of torture felt like a paint scraper or chisel, and I sensed some residual pain from last Friday's baseball bat. This morning I was up shortly after my usual 5 AM and I got back to doing my Spanish in the sunroom. I feel more like "me".

Today is beautiful, nothing like yesterday's intermittent showers. The sun is shining; the sky is blue. I'm listening to "Morning Joe" on MSNBC. The phrase "blocking and tackling", used in this segment in reference to the 2024 presidential campaign, seems to be applicable to my situation as well. Figuratively, of course.

Blocking and tackling. I can do this.

Spring Agenda - Thoracic Surgery 05.24.24: T+4

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Yesterday was a fine day. Several walks, a little drive in the country. Not much to do except look at the windows that need a good wash, and I window washing is a little beyond the limits of both my energy and physical ability right now. We seem to have a lot of rain every day, so this is probably not a good time for that project anyway.

Last night I had no trouble getting settled in bed. My wounds didn't bother me and the ribs felt pretty good too. Best of all, when I woke up at 3 AM, I had graduated from machete to hunting knife in the pain department. It's nearly noon on Tuesday, and the knife feels as though it's twisting around in my back but it's all very tolerable. I don't know how a twisting hunting knife can possibly be an improvement over a slashing machete, but it is, at least in this analogy.

The biggest challenge is cobbling together a good seating arrangement. So many sofas and chairs that other people find comfortable are too big for me and I need a straight back. I'm sitting with a firm foam cushion behind me, and I have an adjustable tray table in front.

We're good for now!

Spring Agenda - Thoracic Surgery 05.24.24: T+3 - Memorial Day

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Beautiful flowers from my brother Allan and sister-in-law Laurel yesterday. They really gave me a big lift on what could have been a challenging day.

I didn't do too much but was happy to walk around the west Upper 9th Place oval a couple of times for a grand total of about a quarter of a mile. Just a start, I guess. I don't want to be out in a crowd because of the risk of getting a cold or other virus, so I'm going to limit activity for a while. Yes, I should wear a mask but it's hard with glasses and I tend to hyperventilate, so it's out for now. Bob and I did get to Lund's & Byerly's, which was almost empty in mid-afternoon. Back to Mass next Sunday.

I woke up laughing at 2 AM, thinking about the first question I got about pain in the hospital. For some reason I didn't answer with the expected number between 0 (no pain) to 10 (worst pain ever), and got a strange look when I said it was llike I'd been hit by a baseball bat. A minute or so later, I revised the weapon to a golf club. Last night I felt "slashed by a machete" but am quite well just after 9 AM and the pain is very manageable, between 2 and 3. For the record, thoughts of violent weapons really came out of nowhere -- just the product of a wild imagination. 

My first shower felt wonderful on this Memorial Day. I'm watching stories about those who served and paid the price of freedom. As he has done in the past, former NATO Supreme Commander James G. Stavridis paraphrased the last phrase of the national anthem: we live in the "land of the free because of the brave."

Spring Agenda - Thoracic Surgery 05.24.24: T+2 - Not so Quick, Missy

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Yesterday was a great day. Most important, I wasn't dead or dying; next, I came through the surgery without a stroke or heart attack or any other awful event, and I seemed to be thinking as clearly as one can under difficult circumstances.

I had a light supper and enjoyed yet another popsicle before going to bed. And then ... a heavy ache exacerbated by the burden of fatigue hit me. I found myself watching the clock, waiting for 8:00 PM when I could take 1000 mg of Tylenol. Before bed, I decided to go for the gabapentin (common brand name is Neurontin -- one of those multi-use drugs that helps with nerve pain and for me, it acts as a sleep inducer) and methocarbamal (common brand name is Robaxin -- for muscle spasms, which I tend to have anyway, because of MS, I think).

Getting into bed was awful. I sat down too far from the head of the bed, and moving back felt as though as I was sliding over bumpy wood. We have an adjustable split king bed, so fortunately I could fool around with controls until I found a reasonably comfortable position. I whined and swore. Not my finest moment.

Finally I got settled, but the only thing that kept me for resorting to oxycodone was the thought that I'd have to start all over again with the bed. Now, I specifically avoid any kind of heavy duty painkiller because opiates not only confuse my mind but also give me a headache and nausea. So this is evidence of how desperate I had become. I tried to quiet my mind with a few Hail Marys and eventually fell asleep. I was awake for a couple of hours after 3:00 AM but woke this morning at seven, a full two hours after I usually get out of bed.

I can't take a shower until tomorrow but managed to get reasonably clean, and I thought of my wonderful nurse Alice who laughed when I told her I didn't want to smell. The anticoagulant shot in the abdomen (enoxaparin -- common brand name is Lovenox) was easy from years of experience with myself (Avonex for MS) and Fritz the cat (insulin for diabetes).

I'm sitting at the dining room table in a straight back chair with a pillow behind me, and that may be the best position, as it so often is. Feeling energetic again, so this should be a good day!

Spring Agenda - Thoracic Surgery 05.24.24: T+1 Discharge

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The day was almost shockingly easy. I was visited by three people on the thoracic team today at 7 AM and declared in good shape, probably ready for discharge sometime in the afternoon. The morning was filled with blood tests, a chest X-ray from a portable machine wheeled into my room, a session with a physical therapist, and many visits from my nursing team.

After being on a clear liquid diet since Thursday, including three delicious popsicles, I was allowed to have regular food. I ordered a roast beef sandwich on whole wheat bread with swiss cheese, lettuce and tomato (no condiments) and I've never had anything so delicious. A couple of graham crackers and vanilla pudding seemed like a goormet dessert. I also managed to down three cups of hospital coffee, not very good and I really wonder if there was any caffeine in them at all.

My wonderful nurse Alice told me at 12:45 PM that I was being kicked out, so I called Bob, who arrived 45 minutes later but ended up having to wait for about another 45 minutes until I was ready to go. Alice walked me to the pharmacy to pick up my prescriptions, and, for the first time ever, I walked out of a hospital instead of being wheeled.

I've been home for an hour or so and am enjoying a cup of my own Earl Gray tea. I do have some pain in my ribs on the right side, but Tylenol seems to work well on it. Since there won't be any news until I get a biopsy report, I probably won't have anything to blog about for a few days.

So, in the end, there wasn't much drama at all: just excellent medicine in a top medical facility.

Spring Agenda - Thoracic Surgery 05.24.24: T+1

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I was so wired, literally and figuratively, that I wondered if I would be able to sleep. I finally turned off the light after midnight and slept for about three hours. I've been up since about 3:30. So far I've had two popsicles since dinner on Thursday evening and the notation on my whiteboard hasn't changed from "clear" yet. I could use aslice of toast!

Otherwise I'm doing fine. I love hearing the nurses' stories. Jessica moved to Minneapolis at the age of  8 from Idaho, where she was a Mexican migrant worker. Jessica's mother, who speaks little English, has had a hard life. She's also worked several of those physically demanding meatpacking jobs. Jessica graciously spoke Spanish with me and complimented me on my fluency, even though I still had that colorless sound thatt seems to characterize my speech after surgery. I think I'm better this morning and am losing that one-cocktail-too-many vibe.

I no longer have supplemental oxygen and my dressings have been changed. I do feel a little tired but I think that will pass. I'm hoping to check off occupational and physical therapy today. I'm overwhelmed by the positive energy and prayers everyone who has lifted me up these last few days. No one could ask for more!

Spring Agenda - Thoracic Surgery 05.24.24: Surgery Today

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The day finally arrived. I woke up at my usual time and went through my usual morning routine – Spanish, Wordle, stock market review. Took the required shower (first one was last night) and cleaned the guest bathroom. Did a last load of laundry. Chris arrived shortly after 9:30 and headed with Bob and me to the hospital in non-rush hour traffic. Arrived before my 10:50 appointment and almostimmediately got into the pre-op routine. Bob and Chris were with me until I went into surgery at 2:30 -- they had a very long wait because I didn’t get out of surgery until 6:30 and weren't allowed to see me until just before visiting hours ended at 8:00. It was a very hard day for them, and I really appreciated their presence.

The biopsy during surgery was “inconclusive” for now. Someone on the medical team talked to Bob and Chris and said we’d have results in about a week. I think I’ll have a chance to talk to one of the two surgeons tomorrow, and I expect to be more “with the program” then, so I’ll have a clearer understanding of what’s ahead.

The right lung middle lobe was removed. I woke up from surgery quickly, though for the first seconds I thought I was in the recovery room from a previous surgery – not sure which one. I had ice chips  and apple juice, got my phone and laptop. The oxygen sensor on my left middle finger makes it hard to type and I fear that talk-to-text would require too many corrections. I finally got into a room at about 9, I think. I've been up already and am fairly stable, though I've been warned not to walk on my own.

Nurses and techs keep coming in to check and, well, test. I can read results on my online chart, and everything is normal so far. I'm still drinking juice and cooling my mouth with ice. My pain is minimal at 11 PM.I really feel as well as anyone could under the circumstances. I’ve texted a few people and talked with Bob. I’m sad that the Timberwolves lost Game 2 to the Mavericks. Thank you, friends, for all the texts, cards and good wishes. I couldn’t be a more fortunate person! Looking forward to a good day tomorrow and a more coherent post.

Spring Agenda - Thoracic Surgery 05.24.24: T-1

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I'm as ready as I can be. My main objective was to make it through the last couple of weeks without getting a cold -- and so far, so good. We've had a lot of rain in the last week and I have the probably mistaken idea that viruses are washed away and the air outside is clear and clean.

Yesterday evening we enjoyed a short visit from DIL Meggan, whose energy and positive attitude are energizing and encouraging. She and other family members will be spending the Memorial Day weekend in the Upper Peninsula. No weekend trip for us this year! As Bob joked yesterday, we'll be celebrating on the East Bank .

Spring Agenda - Thoracic Surgery 05.24.24: T-4

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In the last couple of weeks I've sent private messages to a number of friends and family, so that they wouldn't learn this rather news indirectly. I decided this morning that I just couldn't cover everyone so I"ll just stop now. On Thursday I'll post a link to this blog and go on from there.

I'd be ready to show up for surgery tomorrow if I got a call. I'd simply race through the things I want to get done before Friday, mostly involving various degrees of cleaning. What kind of pathetic person has a to-do list consisting of changing sheets, doing laundry, vacuuming, washing floors, and cleaning bathrooms? I see only one hand raised!

I've received so many positive messages from people that I feel a little overwhelmed. The "kindness of strangers" is  exceeded only by the warmth and care of those closest to me. So thank you all.

Spring Agenda - Thoracic Surgery 05.24.24: Backstory

When we returned from Florida in March I couldn't foresee that the months of April and May would be mostly consist of medical appointments and preparation for surgery. Suddenly my self-imposed timeline took on real meaning: projects that require any kind of physical exertion are being completed now, rather than spread out over the summer.

A Little History

I'm a "rule follower" in most aspects of my life and I usually schedule the annual visit with my primary medical provider in the fall, so that I can update any immunizations at the same time. At last October's visit, I remembered to ask if I sill needed a lung CT scan (actually, I'd thought it was a chest X-ray), like previous imaging ordered periodically because of presumed benign lung nodules found a number of years ago. I hadn't had one since the COVID pandemic, but there was no reason to expect any change. And there wasn't.

However, a new “suspicious”, “spiculated” lung nodule about 1.5cm in diameter was seen in my right lung (middle lobe). I was immediately referred to pulmonologist Dr. Jennifer Wong sho ordered a PET scan and then a biopsy on December 13.  No malignancy was found in either the nodule or the lymph nodes. A full complement of tests uncovered no fungal or bacterial infection. I kind of forgot about the issue until we returned from Florida at the end of March.

I had a follow-up CT scan on April 4 and was somewhat surprised to learn that the nodule had increased in size a little, adding to the concern. Pulmonary function tests were all normal (I like to think “better than most!”) and I saw thoracic surgeon Dr. Rafael Santiago Andrade on April 18.  Since it was unlikely that anything would be gained from a repeat biopsy, Dr. Andrade recommended surgery, now scheduled for May 24, to remove the nodule and obtain a definitive diagnosis. The nodule will be tested for cancer, and if none is found, excision of the nodule will be sufficient. If it is malignant, the middle lobe will be removed in that same surgery. If the nodule is cancerous, it is stage 1A (very early). 

Scans, Tests and Pre-op

I've almost lost count of the number of medical appointments, scans and tests. Yesterday, I had the pre-op exam and the surgery will go on, as scheduled. I knew that Dr. Andrade would be out ot town -- he didn't want the surgery to be delayed until his return, so my appointment was with his partner, Dr. Amit Bhargave. Dr. Bhargave is as well credentialed as his Dr. Andade and very personable as well. I feel confident that I am (literally) in good hands.

I have an excellent care team. My awesome nurse practitioner Breanna McCarthy and other medical professionals have called me immediately after "alarming" news was published on my online chart. There's nothing like empathetic human contact to calm one's nerves -- everyone I've met has "soft" people skills as well as professional expertise.

Next Steps

Nothing much to do, except practice breathing with a volumetric spirometer, stay hydrated, rested and well nourished. Late in morning on May 24, Bob will come with me to M-Health Fairview University of Minnesota Hospital - East Bank, where I had the biopsy before Christmas.  This is major surgery, with some risks, but I am a good candidate, and I should get through it OK. I expect to be in the hospital overnight and activities will be restricted for a week or so. Recovery will probably take a month and full recovery up to three months, but I should be able to enjoy the summer.

While this seems like "bad news", like a true Minnesotan I know "it could be a lot worse" and am particularly aware that the only reason the nodule was found at all was because of my previous history. I'm an optimistic person and overall, I feel very upbeat.

Updates to follow.

Cocoa Beach March 7-28, 2024

PHOTOS 

GETTING THERE

We had a rocky start to our time in Cocoa Beach. My mid-morning flight didn't leave until mid-afternoon, due to what was eventually revealed to be "smoke in the cabin". I easily connected with my Uber to Cocoa Beach and arrived around sunset. Time enough to order provisions from Publix and Total Wine, all to be delivered the next day. However, I hadn't eaten all day because of the problems leaving MSP, and there was absolutely nothing in the apartment. So I was a little shaky and quite cranky.

Bob didn't arrive until the next day, because his opthalmologist, Dr. Huda Sheheitli, refused to clear him for travel until she had ensured that all was well after his eye surgery six weeks earlier. His own flight and car pick-up went without a hitch and he got to the condo in the late afternoon, in time for happy hour and a lenten Friday dinner of Gorton's fish fillets, baked in the oven, and surprisingly delicious.

We had a pleasant Saturday -- so easy to get used to a spectcacular sunrise and a great view of the lovely beach.

MINNESOTA VISITORS

We Minnesotans love our Florida vacations. In March, our first visitors were Sonia and Jim, who drove up from Sarasota where they were visiting friends from home. It was their first trip to Cocoa Beach so they enjoyed exploring the beach and walking all over town. One of their favorite spots for coffee: Grand Parlor Speakeasy Cafe. The cool darkness of the venue is particularly welcome on a hot day. The most fun for us was catching up, without time pressures or the distractions of daily life. Our guests  treated us to a good meal on a very windy day at Sunset Cafe.

John and Trudy were our next guests. They had been to Cocoa Beach last year so they had a good feel for what they wanted to do with their vacation time. They especially loved Port Canaveral, also one of Bob's favorite haunts. Lots of restaurants, people watching, cruise ships, various other boats, and miscellaneous activity ath the port. These visitors took us for a gourmet meal at Florida's Fresh Grill, where we ate and drank well.

They joined Bob and me for a meal with friends from my hometown of Temiscaming. We met at Fishlips and enjoyed our usual nonstop conversation. So much fun that our families support our desire to meet up in Florida.

The next gang arrived a few days after Trudy and John's departure.  Chris, Melissa, Aggie and Johnny rented their own condo in the same building, directly below us on the fourth floor. As happy as I was to see the adults, it was most fun for me to play with the children. Chris brought them up to visit every morning and before bedtime. They learned how to make our king bed and then showed off their skills on their own beds. We spent a lot of time in the pool, where the water wings were a huge success -- I had them ready because the entire pool is really too deep for young children. I was amazed at their excellent listening skills, respecting the imaginary perimeter I created in the "shallow" end of the pool.

A major hightlight: "breaking news!". One very chilly afternoon a group of "kids" (really young adults) arrived. One guy did a huge cannonball into the pool, announcing "Breaking News!'. Others soon followed and our little ones were thrilled and totally mesmerized. Aggie was soon doing her own cannonballs, shouting "breaking news!" with every jump. Our new friends at the other end of the pool proclaimed one of her jumps "the best", thereby making her day. Johnny was an observer until the next day, when he told me quietly that he was ready to do "breaking news", an expression will forever bring me back to that happy afternoon in the pool.

The day after they arrived, we met up with my cousin Nancy Rentz and her husband Tom, who joined us for lunch at Fishlips after driving up the coast from Vero Beach, on their ways to the Gulf coast. It was great to catch up and, especially, to have Chris, Mel and the kids meet Nancy and Tom. Family means so much to all of us and I'm always so happy to see people make connections.

The surf was pounding for virtually the entire time of their visit, but they made tood use of their time. I enjoyed taking pictures of the family from the rooftop. 

ROCKET LAUNCHES

All of our visitors got to see at least one rocket launch. The roof was the best location, but we got a fairly good view from our own balcony. I've seen quite a few launches now, and while they're not quite as exciting as the space shuttle we saw (Endeavour, April 19, 2001), it's still an emotional sight to watch in the sky over Cocoa Beach. I didn't get a good picture, but I can conjure up the memory of the ship in the sky, as it disappears into the heavens.

HOME ON HOLY THURSDAY

A familiar sore throat work me up one night late in our stay and by the time we left for home I was feeling very sick with a bad cold. I missed the Triduum and even Mass on Easter Sunday. No church, no choir for me. I was happy to be home with good memories of our 2024 Florida vacation.

Happy New Year!

Goodbye, 2023!

On New Year's Eve we finally had a little snow overnight, just enough to cover the icy glaze on the driveway and patio. I finished up a few end-of-year tasks before shoveling the driveway for the first time this season. There was too little snow for the neighborhood plow and it felt good to be out in the cold for even a short time. As always, I felt happy at the prospect of new geginnings in a new year.

• After being very healthy during the worst of COVID, I fell back into my old upper respiratory virus winter routine beginning in January. It was a really bad year for me for coughs and colds. As I write this, I'm recovering from yet another bout of feeling absolutely terrible for several weeks.
• I cleared more snow last winter season than I had since I was in Grade 9 in the winter of 1964-65. That year I had recklessly agreed to shovel our house steps and walkway, front and back, using a heavy steel shovel. The snow stuck to the shovel and the winter seemed interminable, much as it did last year.
• We went back to the Space Coast of Florida for two weeks in March. We stayed in a condo with a beautiful partial view of the Atlantic. The pool was great and so cold at the beginning of our stay tha, predictably, I was the only one using it.
• I began work as a teaching assistant at St. Croix Catholic School in Stillwater. I help Caroline Bauer with 3rd, 4th and 5th grade music classes one day a week. Some days are grueling and I'm glad I don't work fulltime anymore.
• I sing in the choir at Guardian Angels Church in Oakdale. This is the church my beloved father-in-law, Harold Hennessey, attended before the "new" church was built in the 80s. It's also where I attended confirmation classes with Bob's granddaughters Angie and Dana, so the church always seemed somewhat familiar to me. I love choir. The members were very friendly to newcomers like me and one woman was particularly welcoming and kind. Now, almost four months in, I happily take my seat in the alto section on Thursday evenings and most Sunday mornings.
• The Wild and Vikes both lost their games, to the Jets and Packers, respectively. Let 2024 begin well for both teams.

Welcome, 2024!

In my hometown of Temiscaming New Year's Day always seemed cold and grey. I usually went to early Mass "to get it out of the way" and remember sitting in St. Theresa's Church feeling overheated and itchy. The pastor, Monseigneur Latourelle, would give a variation of the same homily every year and we always sang the same song:

Mon Dieu bénissez la nouvelle année

Rendez heureux nos parents, nos amis

Elle est toute à vous et nous est donnée

Pour mériter le Paradis. 

Pour mériter le Paradis. 

I enjoyed watching the Rose Bowl parade on our black & white TV and made a resolution to attend the Rose Bowl in Pasadena someday -- one that I haven't yet kept but I still watch the parade, so beautiful on the large, high-pixel TVs we have now. When I was a teenager, I often went skiing on this day and in my twenties, during a time when I liked to party, I decided that New Year's Eve was NOT a good night to go out. I got into the habit of going to bed early so that I could wake up clear-headed and energetic on New Year's morning.

Bob is pretty much in agreement with my on the revelry issue so we rarely venture very far on New Year's Eve and "partying" is limited to one drink for him and a couple for me. Today, I hope to deliver our grandson Johnny's third birthday present, a parking garage so that he doesn't have to appropriate (read "steal") his sister's doll house to park his vehicle collection.

Happy New Year! May 2024 be the year we see peace in Ukraine and the Middle East.

Merry Christmas

This year winter has not really begun yet. The winter solstice came and went, and on this cloudy Christmas morning the temperature is 52F, with no snow in sight. Yesterday, we enjoyed Mexican Christmas Eve with Jim and Sonia and their beautiful family.  In the late evening, we drove to Guardian Angels Church in the rain for the vigil Mass. Choir and liturgy director Zach Stachowski led the choir and instrumentalists so masterfully that I felt happy with the music we so lovingly played and sang.

As I listened to the Christmas readings, I thought about far away wars in Ukraine and the Middle East, and the holy places without pilgrims this year. I remembered photos of then Palestine taken by my father, Harry J. Ryan, when he served with the Royal Canadian Air Force during WWII. He wrote to my mother (then Mary Macpherson) in 1942 that "here I am on leave in a city in Palestine called TEL-AVIV (pardon the printing but habit makes me print names). It is 20 miles from Jerusalem, about 40 from Bethlehem  and Jericho ." 

The world was then at war, but in that troubled time my dad was able to visit the Church of the Nativity in Bethlehem and take a photo of the place Christians believe Jesus was born. This is a photo from that era. There have been so many attempts at achieving peace  in the Middle East in the 80 years since the end of that war. So many seem to have been half-hearted and self-serving, and here we are still today with so much pain, sufferting and hatred.

As I think about all the victims of war, conflict and poverty around the world, I'm grateful for, and hopeful because of, those who work for the common good at home and abroad, including military personnel, members of the foreign service, humanitarians and all people of good will who won't give up on striving for peace. Happy Christmas to all! 

Let there be Peace on Earth

Jill Jackson/Sy Miller

Let there be peace on earth

And let it begin with me

Let there be peace on earth

The peace that was meant to be

With God as our Father

Brothers all are we

Let me walk with my brother

In perfect harmony.

Let peace begin with me

Let this be the moment now.

With ev'ry step I take

Let this be my solemn vow

To take each moment and live

Each moment in peace eternally

Let there be peace on earth

And let it begin with me

Cocoa Beach 2023 - Third in a Series

A few highlights:

• Meet-up with my cousin Nancy and her husband, Bob. My most vivid memories of Nancy are from the unforgettable trip to New York City for my cousin Audrey's wedding. Our dad took my sister Marilyn (then 8 or almost 8) and me (a few months short of my 11th birthday) for about a week in the spring of 1961. We got on a TCA (Trans-Canada Airlines, renamed Air Canada in 1965) DC-8 in North Bay and landed at Malton (the international airport in Toronto, Lester B. Pearson International Airport since 1984), where Marilyn and I went through US Customs & Immigration. I remember the questioning vividly, because the agents were obviously trying to make sure we were not kidnap victims. They asked the names of both our parents and whether our mother was aware of and approved of our trip. I have thought of these guys "just doing their job" many times in cases of parent kidnaping.

          We made it to New York and spent a whirlwind week visiting our relatives (a story for another time)

Cocoa Beach 2023 - Second in a Series

 Haven't done so well keeping up with things. Let's just say we've hit quite a few beach bars:

• Fishlips Waterfront Bar and Grill.  We were there twice, once on the lower level and the second time on the second floor patio. The best item we ate was grouper bites. We also had peel & eat shrimp on our first visit. The portion was so large that we brought half home and had them a few days later. They were good ... but not great.
• Went back to Fishlips on Monday. We had the same grouper bites and tried a new appetizer, "bang up shrimp" -- Korean flavors and very good.
• Rusty's Seafood and Oyster Bar. We had grouper bites and a brie cheese plate (brie with walnuts, warm baguette, strawberries, melon, granny smith apple slices). Bob loves grouper and I really enjoyed the brie combo plate.
• Seafood Atlantic. The oven "had issues" the day we were there, so we had a limited menu. Not a bad thing, because the shrimp cocktail was easily our best ever. We enjoyed chips and salsa too in the perhaps overly sun-drenched patio.
• Gator's Dockside Bar. We had just eaten lunch at home (grilled cheese, canned soup) so we just had drinks at Gator's -- Bob's usual margarita and a Bud Light draft for me. We sat at the bar and met a couple from Michigan's Upper Peninsula. Like us, they were enjoying a little respite from winter.
• Cocoa Beach Ale House. We stopped into this local bar the day after St. Patrick's Day, so I had a Guinness on tap, thinking it would be fresh (it was). Bob made the mistake of having his usual margarita which was a disgusting orange concoction. The server explained that orange was added to "cut the lime taste", which it certainly did. I think she must have been told to add a slice of orange but somehow misinterpreted the instruction. We had coconut shrimp with our drinks (delicious) and brought home a turkey BLT for dinner, with chips. The BLT was so large that we had only half the first night and the rest on Sunday. Just great.
• We went back on Tuesday, March 28, two days before our departure. I had a Guinness and a Modelo, Bob a Michelob Light. Coconut shrimp again, along with chips & salsa (never thought Bob would be a C&S guy, but he's changed). Same take-home BLT wrap, but this time the tortilla seemed to be chipotle-flavored. Equally delicious.
• Sunset Cafe We had a late lunch here after a quick trip to the Village of Cocoa. I'm writing this weeks after our visit, so I can't quite remember what we had. I think it was a delicious shrimp cocktail and the fish & chips lunch special. I went with a cabernet sauvignon and Bob probably had a margarita. The view is great, and you can take a boat trip on the Banana River from here.
• Captain Hiram's  We had lunch here with my cousins, Nancy and Tom. The drinks were good, and we enjoyed our grilled chicken sandwich. Mostly, we loved the company and the view.
• Squidlips This was our last lunch in Cocoa Beach. The coconut shrimp were pretty good, and we liked the fish tacos. Bob had his usual delicious Margarita and I (mistakenly) ordered a Key lime martini -- very good but really a creamy dessert beverage, not an apéritif. The vieew of the Banana River is great and it's fun to watch little kids treat the fish to  vending machine fish food. Well worth a happy hour visit.
• We've also enjoyed some pretty good food from Publix. The best was probably yesterday's tilapia, which I sautéed and served with salad and seafood salad. Really good

Fiscal note: food seems very expensive here, although eating out is comparatively cheap. It must be hard for working families to make nutritious meals.

Cocoa Beach 2023 - 1st in a series

We made it to Florida after all. After a winter of inclement weather, we left MSP just ahead of more snow on Thursday, March 16. Sonia drove us to the airport in a light rain and we left right on time. In recent years, we've often sprung for first or business class, and our flight was comfortable and enjoyable. We had a delicious grilled chicken salad for lunch, along with plenty of water and, for me, a glass of wine white with my lunch.

By the time we got to Orlando, we were tired but wired and ready to take on the car rental experience. I hadn't done my usual "serial rental reservations" to get the best price and just stayed with my original midsize SUV I got on my initial Expedia reservation. By chance, a few days before the trip I signed up for "Avis Preferred", so we went directly to the "Preferred" line in the parking garage. Great!

What was not so great was seeing a group all packed into OUR Traverse, ready to leave. They said they were on their third car already and weren't ready to give up THEIR Traverse, for which the alpha female in the group waved their receipt. Back to the desk for me. The rep gave me a new receipt, this time for a Jeep Compass.

Bob asked me why I hadn't asked for one of the Cadillacs in the stalls, as he struggled to use the manual seat controls of what he said was a cheap, poor excuse for a vehicle. With receipt in hand, he marched back to the desk and soon returned with a new receipt for -- get ready! -- a Cadillac XT4. Unfortunately, I hadn't understood when signing for the original vehicle that I was agreeing to leaving without a full tank of gas! I thought I was agreeing to return the vehicle full, as was the case as recently as a year ago, but no. About 3/4 of the way to Cocoa Beach, the "low fuel" light came on, but fortunately we made it to a gas station and were soon at our building.

Push button entry worked without a hitch and we were soon settled in our comfortable apartment. We made it to Publix in time to pick up a few groceries for the weekend. After a day or so, Bob liked the car a lot so that was a good thing.

Looking ahead to Spring!

I love the increase in daylight during the month of January but am always happy to see the end of that long month, especially this year. Bob and I were both sick with some kind of ugly upper respiratory virus. One night, I found myself thinking that I had updated my will just in time, but fortunately we both got better in a couple of weeks and the will remains in its fireproof location.

This morning I was up before 5:00 a.m. and embraced the concurrence of the first day of February and the day before trash pick-up. As always, I cleaned appliances (a habit I picked up from Meggan Kerkenbush) and changed the furnace filter; I decided to get rid of what I think of as "wishful freezing" and pitched overbaked brownies, uninspiring pork roast, a portion or two of spaghetti sauce, and what was once a delicious side of black beans and rice. I emptied last weekend's leftovers from the refrigerator and, feeling just a little guilt, push a full trash bag in the barrel.

The sun is shining and a warm-up is promised for the weekend. Can spring be far away?

Merry Christmas!

I was a little late making my holiday cards this year, mostly because I couldn't decide on a design. In the end, I sent out more than I usually do, because I found out that people still seem to like getting something in the mail. I don't have a list -- I simply go through my contacts and add or subtract, mostly the former. I regretfully omit some friends simply because I don't have a street address -- I don't Google addresses if doing so feels instrusive.

I send the same design to most, and for a few others I make cards that reflect the underlying Christian mystery of the birth of Jesus. The entire process from conception to getting the envelopes mailed takes a few weeks. It's a grounding experience that is as spiritual and joyful as any other during the Advent and Christmas seasons.

The 2022 card has simple bilingual messages (front: Merry Christmas  ~ Joyeux Noël; inside:  Happy New Year ~Bonne Année) and the image of cardinal (hand matted on red construction paper glued on the front; with the same image printer-generated on the left inside). 

For some, especially family and friends who live far away, I include a photo with a note on the back. 

I'm writing this as I watch the winter crew plow and shovel our neighborhood streets and driveways. The volume of snow reminds me of the snow filled days of my childhood. It's a good feeling, especially because we got the trash barrel out just in time, and back in the garage before the snowplow got to our house.

It feels a lot like ... Hanukkah and Christmas!

Ya Can't Fix Stupid

 

Scott and John attacking the job with resolve

I've always had a sneaking suspicion that I qualify for the "too stupid to live" label. Yesterday's clothes dryer incident yesterday reinforced that creeping angst.

On Thursday, using one of the sharpest knives in the drawer (from my great new Henckel knife set, a Christmas gift from Trudy and John), I sliced my left thumb while cutting bread for dinner. Yes, I do know how to use a knife safely, but I may need some retraining. Anyway, the cut required a rather clumsy bandaging job that impedes motion. This is, of course, a lame excuse for what happened yesterday morning.

As I always do, I cleaned the lint filter after a load of laundry. I noticed a layer of lint in the slot that houses the filter, so I used the previously successful methodology of dampening a paper towel, folding it up, and swiping it along the lint layer. The first pass was successful so I got greedy and went for  couple of small clumps lower down in the opening. To get a stubborn ball of lint on the left, I transferred the folded paper towel tool from my right hand to my left, but the instant I inserted it, my injured thumb lost its grip and the paper towel fell far down the slot.

Oh oh. I thought turning on the dryer might dislodge it, but the noise was awful so I knew that couldn't be good. I tried to reach for paper towel with the pointy end of a long paint brush, but was afraid of dropping it so I abandoned the effort and realized I needed help. I just didn't feel up to confessing my stupidity to Bob, so I let it go for the time being.

Fortunately, Chris invited us to lunch and I was able to tell my tale of woe during a fortuitous discussion of crazy dumb things! Scott promised to have a look that afternoon.

In the end, Chris, John and Scott all got involved. The attempts included pulling out the dryer from the wall, removing screws, vacuuming the slot, detaching the vent and using an industrial blower to get the paper towel out. Success! Bounty paper towels are certainly heavy duty, because the item was dislodged intact, with a small amount of lint attached to its surface.

The dryer was soon back in position for a test run. It works great and, as recommended by the guys, in the future I'll use a vacuum to remove any lint that escapes the trap. Although you can't fix stupid, I may be just smart enough not to avoid that same dumb mistake next time!

Seminole 2022 - Last Day in Florida

 Pix.

Today is our last full day in Florida. While the weather is great, the home environment is really not very comfortable (bed, couches, chairs, noisy A/C, plumbing problems, dirt ...) and we'll be happy to get home. Still, we'ver enjoyed the last week. A few highlights:

• Dolphin Cruise at John's Pass. It was a perfect day and we saw lots of dolphins and seabirds.
• Visit to Fort DeSoto Park. The day was sunny and warm, and we enjoyed watching people on the beach, as well birds in the water and in the air. Afterward, we had a snack at Sea Critters (margaritas, peel & eat shrimp, grouper nuggets).
• Short hop to Lake Seminole County Park. The park was much larger, greener and cooler than I had imagined. The alljgators didn't show up for a photo op, but I was OK,
• Our usual visit to Vinoy Park in St. Petersburg, where the people watching is as fun as waiting for dolphins and manatees.
• Meggan and Scott's weekend with us, including great dinners at Stefano's and perennial favorite Salt Rock Grill.
• Meet-up with Lind O. and her husband Gerard for a wonderful lunch at Bon Appétit in Dunedin.

I'll think about how much I enjoyed swimming in the morning and early evening, and am glad that I learned how to take care of a pool. I'm fairly sure that hardly anyone (except my siblings and a few younger relatives) would have enjoyed the cold water. Scott showed me how to set the temperature of the pool, and I kept expecting the water to warm up -- which it did during a heat spell a few weeks ago. However, the inadequacy of Plan B (the sun) led Bob to ask the pool guy about it. He checked, and said the capacitor was shot, so there is no warm-up in my future.

I'll miss the enclosed patio where we've eaten most meals. However, it was hard to clean up to a satisfactory state and it's even harder to keep it reasonably acceptable.

Spring in Minnesota will be enjoyable!

Seminole 2022 - Winding Down

 Pix.

Time flies by, even when you're not having that much fun. It is a little too quiet for me on this residential street in Seminole.

I've kept myself occupied with watching the news (almost all disturbing), reading (I have a few books on my Kindle, including my choice for April book club), swimming (I've got the pool space quite nice now and I'm pretty good with the skimmer), and the ongoing cleaning project. Everything we step on or touch is fairly clean now, including shower curtains, dish towels, etc. Still, I'm getting a little tired of cleaning when I won't be reaping most of the benefits.

The weather is beautiful. The high humidity experienced last weekend has dissipated and yesterday was fresh and lovely. I got away with resisting the temptation to buy some warm clothes and am happy that I brought three swimsuits so I never have to put on a wet one. I really do like having my own pool.

Seminole 2022 - St. Patrick's Day

St. Patrick (Wikipedia)

Happy St. Patrick's Day! I've hardly ever gone out on this day, for a variety of reasons, including crowds, green beer, and false good cheer. Bob associates the day with a meal of corned beef and cabbage (usually greasy and disgusting) and years ago I started making it for him and Chris, who also enjoys it. It's grown on me over the years and this morning I have corned beef simmering on the stove because I don't want to babysit the oven later in the day. Once it's tender I'll simply refrigerate and save for later.

Our Lady of Kyyv (tweeted by Fr. James Martin, SJ

Yesterday I walked to Winn-Dixie and picked up cabbage, red potatoes, carrots and Irish soda bread. When I prepare at least they won't be cooked to death. We'll eat on the patio as we usually do. A quiet day, one more suited for reflection than celebration this year.

It's hard to be on vacation while the war in Ukraine rages on. Last week, Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy addressed the British parliament via video and received a standing ovation. On Tuesday, he spoke to the Parliament of Canada. I didn't hear the speech but was touched when I read the trascript and saw that he addressed the Prime Minister as "dear Justin". Zelenskyy spoke virtually to Congress yesterday and to the German parliament this morning. He is fearless, demanding, full of passion. Today's news shows continued relentless bombing of Ukrainian cities.

Seminole 2022 - Lunch with Canadian Friends

 Pix.

Wednesday was a good day. We drove to Dunedin, a new destination for us, partly along the beach, through a lot of Clearwarer that we hadn't seen before.

Bon Appétit is a pleasant restaurant right on the water with a solid dock and waterfront area. Linda and Gérard were waiting for us outside the restaurant and directed us to the parking area. It was a little windy and we decided to eat indoors, where Linda had reserved a table. We could have waited for first come/first served patio seating, where reservations aren't avaible, but we were very happy with our table and our waiter, Jonathan, whose nametag identified him as an Ohioan.

Three of us had salads (Greek for Gérard, Caesar for Bob and me) with either grilled chicken or salmon. Linda chose a hamburger with blue cheese on lettuce instead of a bun. Dark beer for Gérard and me, cabernet sauvignon for Linda, "just water" for Bob. Food and service above average.

A number of years ago Temiscaming friends started and annual lunch tradition, sometimes with as many as five or six couples COVID cust short our stay two years ago, and we didn't go to Florida last year, so we hadn't seen Linda and Gérard since 2019. We four were the only attendees this year and while we really missed our other friends, it was so much fun for Linda and me to catch up. The husbands talked amiably beside us as we chatted non-stop.

It was beautifully warm in the late afternoon so I got my swim in before the evening rainstorm. It was a fine day.

Linda, Gérard, Cath, Bob

Seminole 2022 - Clear Weather

 Pix.

We're learning our way around this part of Pinellas County. The topography of this section of the Gulf coast is challenging, such that there are many angled roadways and, it seems, lots of streets that end because they terminate at some water source. Many drives require a lot of turns and it's easy to lose sight of the ultimate destination. Fortunately the Google Maps app comes to the rescue.

Yesterday we drove to St. Pete Beach "the long way", east on Park Boulevard then south on Park Avenue, east again on Pasadena to the Gulf. We sat on a bench watching a guy paddleboarding as a young family fished on the boardwalk, competing with pelicans and an aggressive great blue heron.

For dinner we had leftover noodles from Stefano's and shrimp, simply sauteed in butter with a little salt, pepper and garlic powder (that's all I had). This morning we woke up to a day that promises to be a little warmer. I hit the pool early and worked a little more on all the debris from Saturday's storm. I added some water to bring up the level. The pool guy comes tomorrow so he'll do a mch needed professional job.