Maintaining

Minou under the tree. December 2014.

When asked how he was, a young work colleague at the Minnesota Department of Revenue in the mid-90s would often reply, "Maintaining. Just maintaining ...". I've often thought about this response when I've had to "put myself on automatic" just to cope with everyday activities and small challenges, never more than in the last two months. I was expecting some hard days after Bob's knee surgery, but I was totally unprepared for a major health crisis affecting our little Russian Blue cat.

In the early fall, Minou's now chronic sneezing and coughing, diagnosed as asthma about a year ago, worsened. We took her to our veterinarian and she was treated with Convenia, an antibiotic used for bacterial infections, thought to be a consequence of a primary viral infection and exacerbated by a compromised immune system. Minou continued on her daily 0.8 ml dose of Predisolone, administered to manage her symptoms. For a few weeks, all was well and then the symptoms slowly returned, worse than ever.

Blood tests were inconclusive so we decided to request a second opinion from the University of Minnesota Veterinary Medical Center. After a comprehensive exam and a chest X-Ray, several "nodules" in her lungs were identified and she was diagnosed with probable lung cancer, either primary or metastasized from a tumor in her sinuses or elsewhere in the respiratory system. No sign of asthma. Other possibilities were a fungal infection (unlikely) or lung worms (highly unlikely). The only way to know for sure is a CT scan that would include a biopsy in one or more locations.

Our original decision was to get the conclusive diagnosis, but after a very bad weekend during which Minou's wellbeing diminished by the hour, we opted to treat her symptoms, with the goal of making our beloved pet as comfortable as possible for whatever her lifespan might be. Since we would not be inclined to treat cancer with either surgery or chemotherapy, the conservative approach seemed logical and kind, both to the cat and ourselves.

By last Monday afternoon I was an emotional wreck. Bob, while outwardly calm, was upset too. We consulted with our longtime vet, Dr. Jan Whitman of Animal Medical Clinic, who reassured us that we're doing the right thing for Minou, who has had "a great life". She even came by on Monday evening after her long workday to give a Convenia injection, delivered so efficiently that she was in and out of the house in less than a minute. I feel so fortunate and grateful for  Dr. Whitman's kindness and compassion.

Almost a week later, Minou is no longer coughing or sneezing, and she seems very comfortable, though a lethargic version of her former perky self. She sleeps most of the time, but still loves to snuggle up with Bob or Chris, purring contentedly. We've resigned ourselves to the idea that this could be hospice care that we'll provide as long as it's appropriate.

During this time, I've felt very sad and preoccupied, unable to write or take pictures. The Christmas card list seemed so daunting that I divided it into manageable segments and omitted my annual photo insert summarizing the year in pictures. Other tasks have simply been left undone.

With a course of action pretty well laid out, I'm doing better than "maintaining" this weekend. I've always loved the Christmas Season and this year is no exception, despite the fact that sudden near record warmth has given us a dull, foggy landscape. All we need now is a little snow ...